The Commute by ODC

now i been waitin on tha platform
for an hour like a jerk
it's total shit because you know
that i don't want to go to work

yo, i be hot and i be sweatin'
air be muggy air be thick
it's like a muthafuckin steam room
my balls turn into a salt lick

an every second that goes by
there be mo bitches pourin in
an they all lookin up da tracks
bein like "when it git here? when?"

and the reason for my torture
son, the reason for my pain
it's there ain't no shit that's later
than tha fuckin septa train

yo, if i was flava flav
then septa'd be my 911
these fucking bitches are a joke
and i be reachin' fo my gun

so here's a tip fo all you gangstas
if this ain't something that you like
if you gonna move to philly
make sure you buy a fucking bike

Myspace in Yo' FACE!!!!!!

(Cool rap dialogue:)
Uninformed SUCKA: "Yo, man! Whatchoo be doin' this weekend?!"

Mizzmetro: "I be goin' to that bumpin' party in South Philly, dawg!"

Uninformed SUCKA: "What bumpin' party, dawg?!"

Mizzmetro: "Yo, sucka!!! Didn't you read the Myspace bulletin about it?!"

Uninformed SUCKA: "I don't gots a Myspace, dawg!!!"

Mizzmetro: "YOU DON'T GOTS A MYSPACE?! Boy, you be TRIPPIN'!!!" (*pushes the sucka in the face*)





Yo, sweet thang! How you doin'!?
You are the one that I'm really pursuin'!
All up on the Internetz!
Chillin' at home with all my pets!

Lookin' at yo' Myspace profile!
Your 'About Me' section makes me go wild!
Do you really look like that in real life?
Or do you look like Godzilla's wife?!!

You 'Interests' section got me BUGGIN'!!
Because I also like movies and I also love huggin'!
Your profile background is so cool!
I'm gonna read yo' blogs right after school!

Well I read your blogs and I left some comments!
The crap you write is some real nonsense!
But I'm still gonna add you as my friend!
So a 'Friend Request' is what I'll send!

OH NO! I got DENIED!!!
Is it because I like the Electric Slide?!
Damn, homie, you be so wild!
I'm gon' take the Electric Slide off my profile!!

Now I'm gonna send another friend request!
'Cause your Myspace profile got me all obsessed!
And it also says that you're friends with Tom!
Wait... everybody's Myspace friends with Tom...

OH SNAP! You added me!
A beautiful Internetz relationship this will be!!
We'll post each other profile comments! We'll laugh and boast!
And you'll fill out my surveys as bulletin posts!


(And now for some redonkulous scratching...)
It's Myspace!!!
My-My MYSPACE!!!
It's Myspace!
My-My MYSPACE!!!!




WOOOOOORRRD!!!!!

Snack Attack: Get Crunk

Yo think yor a snack playa,
but ya'lls rhymes make me go for a bottle o bayer.
Yo greasy ass ain't nothing but a snack poser.
Back away from my snacks, don't get any closer.

Old man, ur a snack wangsta,
Yo ain't nothin' but a backseat snacker,
yo grillz don't even have incisors,
yo ain't nothin' but a backseat snacker,
yo ass wouldn't know what to do with an appetizer.

H to thu O, yo rhymers couldn't be lamer,
yo ain't nothing but a backseat snacker,
culdn't eat a whole chili cheeseburger,
yo ain't nothin' but a backseat snacker,
mad as fuck, cuz yo can't put snacks in danger.











OMGWTFBBQ.

I down ta be crunk,
dese chips be smoked in skunk,
back up, bitch, I got the munchies,
these would go great with brownies.

"Mizzmetro Got These Here Streetz LOCKED DOWN!!!!!!!"
A rap by: Ellen Metro, Age 29

(Cool rap monologue):
Yo, homie!!! I hear the kidz on tha streetz be talkin' all sortz of KA-RAY-ZEE shiz!!!
They be all like, "I be the greatest MC! an' shiz!!!"
Well lemme tell ya what's up!!!!

My name is Ellen Metro
They call me the Mizz
I live in Philly
I like steaks wit cheese whiz!!

Actually, the kind wit chicken
The chicken in a bun!!!
When my tummy is rumblin'
I'm all like "GIMME SOME"!!!

I live in South Philly
On a Street called "Reed"!!
I'm gonna spit some rhymes
Until my ears bleed!

That is a sign
Of a concussion!!
I need more bass
Gimme that sweet percussion!!!

I love throwin' gang signs
I love ta get loose!!!!
My beatz are large
Like a Canadian moose!!!

I want to own a million
Fluffy kitty-cats!!!
I drum on my desk
It goes "RAT-A-TAT-TAT!!!"

RAT-TA-TAT-TAT-TA-TA-TAT-TA-TAT Y'ALL!!!
My rhymes hitcha in the melon
Like a big snowball!!!!

A snowball
Filled with ROCKS!!!
So hitch up ya pants
And pull up ya socks...

...'Cause now you're runnin' with the hardest team!!!
My name is Mizz and I'll cause a scene!!!
I'll punch the air
I'll shoot guns into the sky
While all the little children are like
"Why, Jeezus, WHY?!"
"Why, oh, why did ya have to make her so HARD?!"
"Her beatz are heavy like I just ate some lard!!"

That's right, ya'll!
Speak it, kidz!!!
I'm quick like a ninja
I am THE MIZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


-FIN-

Working on Friday is Lame

Working on Friday is Lame
The Man is to blame
What a good god damn shame

I wake up thinking there’s a chance
That I won’t be wearing pants
Cause working on Friday’s is a curse
Time to hit the Man with my good god damn purse

Working on Friday is Lame
The Man is to blame
What a good god damn shame

I wish I was the Terminator
Better known as the Exterminator (Due to copyright laws)
And instead of saying "I’ll be back"
I’d be like "Gimme a snack"

Working on Friday is Lame
The Man is to blame
What a good god damn shame

*a rap by EmilyDanger*

Fecal Friday

woke up this morning with a fuzzy head
couldn't get out of bed
wishin that i was dead

even though i know it's the end of the week
i'm really starting to tweak
life is seeming so bleak

cause it's Fecal Friiiiday
diggin myself a pit
this job's full of shit

cause it's Fecal Friiiiday
sucks to be alive
clockwatching till 5

my computer stares back at me
wish i had the key
t'unlock this misery

it's like watchin paint dry on walls
dumbass phone calls
boss bustin my balls

cause it's Fecal Friiiiday
diggin myself a pit
this job's full of shit

cause it's Fecal Friiiiday
sucks to be alive
clockwatching till 5

Snack Rap: Funky Nacho

yo rhymes be whack
ya'll think ya can snack
but i'ma pop dat back like a heart attack

cause ain't no mouf big as mine
and i just ain't got da time
ta pick it up an ta stick it in an make dem teef grind

so i'ma swallow it whole
a fucking cinnamon roll
ya'll pick up a chip and ah pick up da bowl

i'll eat mah way through you slackers
you fucking think ya'll are snackers
but you ain't nuffin but a bunch of crackity crackers

Snack Rap

Rap Snacks???

Sounds delicious and boobylicious.

I like to eat my rap snacks

With the neighborhood yacks.

They scream and shout

And throw their hoofs all about!

yeah yeah...

YEAH YEAH YEAH

You's jealous of these rhymes

And my skills on da chimes.

Only hard asses play the chimes....

Ding Dong Motha Fuckin Dong

dingy dingy dong dong dong dong ding!

yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeahhhhhh Boooyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

*a rap by EmilyDanger*